My Life in the Last 2 Weeks Summed Up in 10 Minutes

So, the last couple of weeks have been difficult for me. Which is part of the reason I haven't posted in a while. But since I am so popualar among my five readers, I guess that I will tell you what has been going on.

A little over two weeks ago, some things took place that were really difficult for me. I am not going to go into depth on here about it, but if you want to know more, just call. But I became really frustrated, and just confused about what I was supposed to do. Mainly because I felt like I couldn't do what I thought was expected of me. This one event began a week of mental torture. But God would use that to bring me to a point that I had been praying that He would bring me to, a point of brokenness.

As I dwelled more and more on that thing I realized, "I can't do this on my own." Now as Christians, we know that without God nothing is possible, but to really come to that realization is completely different. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on you own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your paths." I am really bad at this. I like to rely on what I know. Because to be honest, I know all the right answers. I know how to make myself look like I am doing just fine, when inside, I am torn to pieces. But I have to learn to trust the Lord with all my heart, and just leave everything up to Him.

As I went on during the week, I went into a deeper and deeper depression. That was going on, and I found out that one of my friends' parents are getting a divorce. So, I hurt for him. I began to feel really lonely and just needed to talk to someone. So, I did. I talked to my good friends Chris Krycho, Michael Hand, and Todd Heitmann. On Thursday, and Friday I talked to Todd a lot. Like...a lot a lot. And he encouraged me greatly. Then on Saturday, I went home after work and being with Lauren for a while, and I talked to mom and dad. And I just broke. I was crying like a baby, and it felt really good. I had not done that in a long time. God was breaking me.

On Sunday I went to church wanting to praise God, but I still just had a lot of grief in my heart. We were singing in church, and really the church was singing because I was not. I couldn't. It was physically not possible. So I began to just pray, and as I prayed I told God I just want to praise You even through this difficult time. And when I prayed that, I felt the freedom to praise Him through song. I was able to worship in spirit and truth (John 4:21). If I would have done that without praying for the first three songs, I would have dishonored God. And that was the last thing I wanted to do. So God broke me, and restored me over the course of that week. And He continues to restore me, but I will get to that later.

This past week has been better for me personally. But it has still been difficult. I have some friends that are just going through a really difficult situation. It is messy and sticky and just not good. Of courst God works all things for His good, but no one wants to go through what they are going through. So I have spent a really good portion of the week praying for them.

I completely switched places. I went from needing encouragement, to offereing encouragement. I had been reading in Galations a lot, especially over the break. And Paul talks about helping those who have been caught in a wrong doing with a gentle spirit in chapter 6 (I encourage you to read it for times like this). And I have tried to do that to the best of my ability. I am not in a position to say who is right or wrong, but I do know that pretty much everyone who has been wronged or has wronged someone knows anyways. So I am just praying for them intensly. God is working on people's hearts, and things will be alright eventually. It is just going to take time.

Then yesterday and today have been great. First Southern had Disciple Now this week. I was not able to lead a group, but I was able to go last night, and the speaker and band lead this morning also. Chris Brooks spoke over the week. This was his second year in a row to do so. And once again he hit home runs. Last night he talked about the Prodigal son, and it was very convicting. We truly do need to run back to Christ and repent of being hypocritical as a church. Also, Chuck Denny lead worship again this year. This was his second year in a row also. And he was wonderful once again. I was able to bring Lauren, and Aaron Gayle who goes to OU. I hope that God worked on their hearts as He did mine.

Chris and Chuck lead this morning, and it was great. The challenge me to know God's Word better, and the worship Him with all of my being in every part of life. So God has continued to restore me, and I love Him because of that. He has basically been doing that since I came to know Him when I was eleven.

So praise God! Even when things are difficult praise Him.

James 1:2-4